Delayed blogging, bonfires, and relaxation galore May 24, 2009

Well I have discovered that being back in Ohio has led me to neglecting my blog…which is sad…so Im going to try and rekindle it…

I have spent alot of time at bonfires and cookouts over the past few days. Although enjoyable, my body is beginning to hate me, as I ahve welts from misquitos all over the place..and they itch, which is never helpful.  But fire is good…and beer is good…and food is good…so I will keep venturing into that world of relaxation as long as I can!

In news around to world…North Korea tested their nuclear weapons…this so cant be a good thing!  Not only does it lead to national security issues but I cant imagine all that underground testing is all that good on the environment! I mean North Korea is essentially an agricultural society, so I know I wouldnt want to eat anything grown there…Its bad enough that I lived downhill from a nuclear supersite my entire life, and it had some measures of public protection in place, but I some how doubt Kim Jong Il has made sure his people are protected from nuclear fallout…

Well the craziness of Ohio people is evident all the more since I have moved away…and I mean crazy…take for example the Toledo man who when he didnt get a nightly phone call from his mom who was traveling, decided that his neighbor had kidnapped her and stormed into their house to kill them. He was eventually killed in a bloddy shootout with police, but I cant help but wonder if 1)he was high on meth 2)where the neighbors gun was (cause come on it is Ohio) and 3) why a grown man is still a mamas boy.

In other disturbing Parent/child news…a London man tried to hire a prostitute to have sex with his 14 year old son…he said it was a gift for his sone to loose his virginity. Um when did parents push for their kids to grow up so fast?! Seriously?! At 14 I was getting the NO sex talk, not the PAY for sex talk…hmm…come to think of it…I dont think there ever was a PAY for sex talk…I cant imagine my dad having that discussion with me!

In blog news…there has been over 3000 visits…yay!

Later!

Steeling a seat, a little Tofu, and the evolution of Darwin… April 8, 2009

Who knew that id go from discussing in class about stupidity of people to coming home and reading an article about how modern life is making humans evolve faster…and here earlier we all thought Darwinism was dead.  In class tonight we did a Tabletop exercise on a Hurricane hitting the Big Island…and one of the scenerios involved surfers going out in Cat2 and tourists deciding to hike Volcano Park during a Cat2…Seriously?! While this was all a scenario it was based on actual problems that Hawai’i has faced…I want to know who would really hike a volcano during a hurricane…it just seems like you are tempting fate a little too much there…what do you prefer…death by flying debri or death by lava? Hmmm….how about both!  We even joked about leaving the stranded toruists in Volcano Park because if they were stupid enough to venture out, then maybe the gene pool needed some help…man made Darwinism. Well Darwin evolution seems to be following me tonight cause I get home and see and article about how we are evolving faster now…and that our genes eventually will change enough to create an entirely new human species, one no longer able to breed with our own species…well I guess the evolution monkey chart had to have something beyond us…i wonder if they will still have opposable thumbs?!

I am seriusly distrubed by the route reality tv is taking now…more so then I was before!  A new reality show from the Dutch-based creator of the hit TV series ‘Big Brother’ will allow staff at companies struggling in the global recession to choose which colleague should be fired. Gee…the economy is bad…we need to fire someone…lets make it a televised event! Yes, because only the Dutch would think of something so horrible into entertainment…wait…its coming to the US?! Go figure  (ok its not really coming to the US but with the US leading reality TV, would it really be any shock to see Fox air it!?!)

When you hear the word ‘tofu’ do you think of somethin obscene?  Well a Denver lady who requested a personalized license plate to read “Ilvtofu” was deemed obscene because they said it could be interpreted as I lv to FU…well okay I get that but seriously? When I read it i saw tofu not FU…give society some credit…yes someone may see it and complain, but most people dont read license plates that closely..unless you are in a traffic jam or entertaining kids…but whatever…

Well Burris-isms are taking off everywhere!  A man in South Dakota was going through the drive through and accidently shot himself in the leg…i wonder if he will try and sue the fast food joint for something stupid like allowing weapons on the property…

In an unusual theft move…someone stole from a New Jersey womans Honda…the fact that her car was broken into isnt the strange part…its what was taken…the steering wheel, shift knob and front seats.  Now I know these are all vital parts of a car…but um you might as well have taken the entire car…I wonder if the theif needed new seats?

Jessie…maybe you should give Arkansas churchgoers a chance… A church in Little Rock will be holding Easter Sunday services at a local bar…and in case you cant make it that Sunday…check them out on Mothers Day and Fathers Day at the bar too…come for the choir…stay for the drunken karaoke!

Later!

 

Motorized Bar Stool, Baptism with coke, and a disturbing visit to Guantanamo March 31, 2009

Well its been days since I blogged and I have really wanted to but alas, my life has been very boring!  Ive been wrapped up in a series of books…and read the 3000 pages in 2.5 days over the weekend…(yes thats how I spent my spring break…reading…how pathetic am I!?) and figured you wouldnt want a play by play on the events in the book…If you do, let me know! (J/k) However, I started back to class yesterday…and the semester has one more month!  But its going to be a hella month thats for sure.  Im still not sure what Im doing for the project I have due next week.  Im a little stressed about it, but Ill get it done.  Just give me a B Bates thats all I ask!  Somehow miraculously, I got another A in COIN theory…not really sure how that worked…especially since this last paper I thought was more a work for Diplomacy then COIN, but whatever. He liked it. And Ill take an A!

I thought Id seen all the wackiness that could happen…well at least in Ohio…but I have to admit this story made me laugh, cause only in Ohio would you find such a thing! A Man got arrested for a DUI while sitting on a Bar Stool….the catch is that the man had motorized his bar stool..and thus proceeded to crash it and hurt himself. Only in Ohio would someone motorize a bar stool!!! The funniest thing about it, is that he has plead Not Guilty to DUI and is requesting a jury trial!

Jessie…this story is for you! A Norwegian church used lemon-flavored cola instead of water in a baptism ceremony after its taps were temporarily turned off because of freezing temperatures. Wanna be baptized with coke?

And the #1 in Beers is no longer Budweiser/Bud Light…Chinese beer Snow has lept in front as the most sold beer in the world…and thus China has become the next superpower…j/k.

Ive always thought beauty pageants were full of women who, while pretty, werent the most observant or brightest in the bunch (I know there are exceptions and Im not stating this as a universal application to all contestants). Especially now with Ms Universe stating that Guantanamo Bay is a “relaxing, calm, beautiful place”.  Hmmm….I wonder if she was converted to Islam just like a majority of the troops who are stationed there did?  Wait…she did?  “We visited the Detainees camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how the(y) recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting.” Ahhhh that explains it…she got the publicity tour and not the dirty behind the scenes tour…got it!

Well Im off to read…but not for fun anymore…well not for awhile anyways..

Later!

Leave a Voice Mail for God, double assassinations in Guinea-Bissau, and the Bong Cat… March 2, 2009

Just in case anyone wants to celebrate tomorrow and needs an excuse…its Square Root Day 3/3/09.  Have fun…go do some math…maybe come up with a new drinking game for it!

Sometimes you have to wonder if people have just gone insane!  Apparently a Nebraska man said his cat was going crazy and needed to “chill” so he placed the cat inside a homemade bong…and when the police arrived he was smoking Marijuana out of the contraption with the cat still inside.  Somehow Im guessing the cat was “chill” and probably had the munchies from that experience.

News around the world:  Guinea-Bissau had a day of violence yesterday, in which their head General was killed in a bombing, and the military retaliated against President Vieira, killing him.  They are not stating it as a coup, but intend to let the constitution work, and the Prime Minister will be taking command until an election can be held.  Interestingly enough…as a gesture to the international community they took the Presidents wife and kids to the UN Ambassadors house for protection.  Definately not a sign of a coup, but still an interesting turn of events in already plagued country full of historical riots, coups, and drug trafficking.

In case you missed the news, Obama decided to release Bush anti-terror memos, which is unconventional to the standard 30 year wait for declassification.  The memos contained signs of exceptional search and seizure powers as well as records stating that the CIA destroyed over 100 tapes of interrigations.  interesting that this is being released now.  Im not sure what Obama is trying to gain except maybe using this release as propaganda move to show that the new administration is open, transparent, and changing tactics in the War on Terror, which is what the international community wants, but doesnt expect to see.

If you are having issues, are stressed by the world today, or just need someone to listen, forget blogging or ranting to a friend.  Call God.  Dutch artist Johan van der Dong has set up a local telephone number in the Netherlands, where he urges people to leave messages for God on his answering machine.  In fact if you call 06-4424-4901 (or +316-4424-4901 if calling from outside the Netherlands) , you will hear “Hi, you are speaking to God. I’m not in right now so leave a message after the beep.” No joke!  He is doing this to give people an outlet to contemplate life.  Hmmm…I think he may need more than answering machine, cause you know that some crazies will call just for fun!

Obamas pick to be US trade representative is in hot water with the IRS…making him the 4th nominee to owe back taxes.  I wonder if this is bad vetting, coincidence, corrupt politicians, or if the IRS is out to get all nominees.  Im going with the latter…I think the IRS is out to get nominees…its their way of impacting policy!

Later!

 

Stupid thieves, War of Asparagus, and foshizzle for Islam March 1, 2009

Well I spent last night at Bonsai talking to professors and fellow DMS peeps, and had a good time.  It was nice to see everyone outside of class, and of course to talk to some of my favorite profs.  Somehow, for some reason, ive become the Africa expert in the DMS program…gee I wonder why! And while I hung out at Bonsai, most of my friends went to see Jimmy Buffet.  I wasnt really into paying for the concert..now if it had been Tori I so would have been there!!!

Well the US has pledged $300 million to Gaza…its nise to see someone supporting the Palestinians inside the US government!

Snoop Dogg appeared at a Nation of Islam conference in support of the movement…Im just wondering if “foshizzle” will be incorporated into their lingo anytime soon!

Well the UN has been in Cyprus for along time now, and there is no end in sight.  The peacekeepers have been involved in all kinds of situations there, but Im somehow betting their current standoff with the locals is kinda unexpected.  They are at war over asparagus. Apparently the veggie is growing in a neutral zone, and UN peacekeepers occupy that territory and wont grant settlers access to harvest the veggie.  Hmm…the War of Asparagus…has a nice ring to it!

How come thiefs always make the news..well at least the stupid ones do.  The latest in a long line of stupid thieves is a man from Australia who locked himself into the car he was trying to steal.  How is that possible?!  Even the new high-tech ones cant do that!  Oh well, I guess where there is stupidity, theres a way.

Random google search of the day that led to my blog…”fear of tsunamis”  Im glad to see Im not the only one out there that has this irrational fear!

Well off to read some more on the Algerian War….

Later!

The loss of a Colt, a city I wouldnt live in, and women rule! February 23, 2009

My roomie Erik and his jumping obsession

Josh and Erik practicing their DUI skills

Josh and Erik practicing their DUI skills

Well the monotony of grad school has sunk in, but I am slowly dragging myself out of the lack of desire to do anything and am actually catching up on reading…which is a good thing!  Class went smooth today, and I am officially Mao’d out…any more reading on COIN (cointerinsurgency) theory this week and my head may explode, but some how I have to find a way to read about the Algerian War by monday.  My weekend was a little relaxing, but it was also full of reading and paper writing.  It could have been worse.  I spent some time hanging with the roomies, and I have included pics of them being goofballs…enjoy.

I have to love Obama for his naive simplistic views on things sometimes.  Apparently McCain approached Obama about the rising cost of some military expenditures, mainly the creation of a new wave of  Marine One helicopters from Lockhead Martin that will cost more than Air Force 1.  In response to the apparent need for a new helicopter Obama stated, ‘”the helicopter he has now seems adequate, adding that he never had a helicopter before and ‘maybe I’ve been deprived and I didn’t know it.’”   I would be the same way.  If I had one helicopter and never had one before I would be ecstatic…forget building me a new one!

Well women are once again superior to the males of this species!  When processing beauty, men use the right side of their brain, while us women use our entire brain! Apparently we  link beauty to all kinds of other aspects like sensory, linguistics, etc…while men see it as an object.  I have decided that women are just further along on the evolutionary process then men…it explains alot!

In football news…all you fantasy players out there…Marvin Harrison is no longer and Indy Colt…he has been listed as free agent after he refused to take a pay cut and no contract deals were struck.  Poor Jessie…her team is losing a great player!

After reading about some places in the world, I have  list, albeit small, of places I wouldnt like to live.  I have added the city of  Zhengzhou, China to the list.  Apparently public servants have been forbidden to wear bright colored clothes, and must match.  However, the real problem for me is that hairstyle must be simple and natural color.  I dont know if I could live somewhere I couldnt let my freak flag fly even a little!  I mean, I may decide I want my hair hot pink, purple, or black again….and I want that option to do it!

I know sometimes restaurants can give diners headaches, especially when there is lousy service or your bill is wrong, but taking it to the extent that a patron of a diner in Cyprus did may be extreme.  He apparently was angry at the bill and doused the place in Petrol, fired a shotgun, and threatened to t burn the place down (maybe not in that exact order). I think anger management may be in order for him otherwise his anger might kill him…literally.  A new study was done stating that anger can kill…cause  it leads to heart defects from stress.  So maybe burning a diner down over a bill isnt the best idea if it could potentially lead to a coronary heart attack!

Well Im off to watch some tv, and slowly fry my brain from watching Family Guy…

Later!

A bill for common sense, a day of gun fire, and more Hugo February 15, 2009

Well its nice and cool out today…well windy anyways.  The mountains normally keep the wind off of Nuuanu but the breeze has foudn its way in between the mountains and has eben blowing all day.  Its not Ohio’s version of Ohio windstorm ‘09, but its definately cooled down the area. 

Right now I am hearing semi-automatic machine gun firing coming form the living room as Erik and Josh kill things on the X-box, and it is sad to say that sounds of gun fire waking me up is no longer a strange sound.  Now that isnt a problem right now, seeing as I am in Honolulu and not a third world country run by militias, but if I ever venture into a scenario like that then having a built up tolerance of machine gun fire may not be a good thing.

In case you missed it Hugo won the right to abolish term limits to the presidency in Venezuala. Should be an iunteresting next couple of years….

Its always interesting living in Hawaii…take for example the legislative bills that are proposed at all levels of state and county government. Right now there are tow kinda strange bills before the county legislation…one is against moepeds, the other is against leaf blowers.  The moeped one I can understand, no more riding on sidewalks people….but the leaf blower one is kinda weird. Apparently leaf blowers are being banned for use during certain hours due to noise pollution.  What makes the bill stranger is that there is an actual stipulation of time form 8am to 8pm that it is ok to use leaf blowers.  My question..who is using leaf blowers when the sun isnt up?!?!?!  Its kinda sad that people have to be legislated some common sense.

Well im off to watch my roommates try and be assassins or whatnot…im not sure what game they are playing right now, but it should be funny seeing Josh play it, cause he has a problem with guns…

Later!

Why cant you arrest 150 stupid people? February 8, 2009

An Ohio sheriff is pretty mad at some local ice fishermen.  See they had to be rescued Saturday after high winds and rising temperatures caused an ice floe to break away and strand about 150 of them on Lake Erie.    In fact his exact words were “if there was a section in the code about common sense, we would have had 150 arrests out there today.  This just cost the taxpayers a ton of money” estimating the cost of the sheriff’s office response at $25,000.   However he has no problem with ice fishing, just problems with the idiots who saw open water and instead of heeding it as a warning, built a make shift bridge over it to reach more ice.   Sherrif Bratton said. “It’s a shame you can’t arrest people for stupidity”  and I agree!

With the economy as bad as it is Ive been a little worried about finanical aid for next year…but maybe I shoulda had more faith!  One of the many things in the new stimulus bill was increased financial aid for us college students!  Yay!!!  Heres to hoping I recieve some of those funds!

Well last night was fun…I got to go hug a guy with dreds!  Hehehe…some of you know who!!!!

Im off to study

later!

KFC Showers, fishing for oil, and a little ‘like a virgin’ drama December 10, 2008

Well tonight is one of deep breaths.  I finally finished my 20 page philosophy paper, but I fear that is sucks, and makes no sense…maybe thats a good thing for philosophy!?!  I just hope after I re-read it in the morning that it doesnt need alot of work!

Well I was wondering what the Dutch were going to do with their 8 pirates they detained after blowing up thier pirate ship…well they turned them over to the Kenyan government for trial…Guess thats as good a place as any for a trial of pirates…and the defense being used is that they are fisherman…hmm…fisherman for oil that is! Kidding.

Gotta love the Catholic church…almost 30 years after there was much uproar over Madonna nad her sexual explotation of the 1980s, a Cardinal in Chile is basically reviving the argument practically calling Madonna whore, arguing that she is teaching loose morals and spreading her legs which is doing harm to the youth of today…Im gonna guess that the Cardinal doesn’t get Skinamax or Showtime!

In California, three KFC employees have been suspended for using the kitchen sink to bath…have these idiots not learned anything…Hello, a crazy Ohio guy did that at a BK and got fired…stop using the sink for bathing!

Well tonights blog is going to be short cause my head about to explode and stuff like that, so enjoy the night!

Later!

Train Car electrocutions, laughter is costly, and the best defense ever! October 26, 2008

Odd news story updates:

Um…so there’s this lady in Texas who is charges with Capital Murder.  Well apparently she is not behind jail, but was allowed to stay at home on house arrest…because of her weight.  She apparently weighs about 1000lbs, and requires special transportation and assistance and was thus ruled not to be a flight risk. I get that part, but what I want to know is who did she kill and how?!?!  If she can barely leave her house without help, how did she get charged with capital murder?

A Canadian serving a life sentence for the rape and murder of a 15 year old girl won a lwasuit against the prison system because apparently a guard laughed at him when he got his thumb mangled in a workshop accident.  Um….I know the US was “sue happy” but Canada?  And doesn’t the jury remember what its like to be in High School…because if this had happened then there would have been a whole lot more people laughing than 1 guard! Give me a break people!

I love it…an American idiot who is trying to sue Amtrak for his own stupidity.  He apparently trespassed on their property and climbed on top of a train car and got struck by 27,500 volts of electricity from an overhead wire.  His charge is that Amtrak should have known that people trespass and climb train cars and thus should have parked the trains in a less-accessible spot. Um…wasn’t that what the fence and barbed wire were for dude?!?!

A California flasher ran from police, and was later caught…at the local nude beach.

Detroit really is a dying city.  Apparently the dead dont even want to stay there anymore.  Detroit sees about 5000 people a year move away.  However it is now seeing an increase of about 500 dead people moving away too.  It seems that once moved, relatives dont even want to return to the city to visit deceased relatives and instead pay to have them relocated!  Gee…Detroit cant even keep the dead!

And off the weird and onto the crazy…did anyone else see that McCain guaranteed a victory?  Im sure it will be a close election, and he could possibly pull out a win, but the cockiness of it kills me! Also…Alaska paper endorses Obama…funny!

Well Im off to read and write a paper for class tomorrow. Yes im still sick, but im thinking Russ’s alcohol advice actually helped!  Ive been drinking less tea today and not coughing as much!  Give me more beer!  Just Kidding!

Later!